The almost end

I am hoping that by writing I will be inspired to write. What I mean is I will want to write my papers, I have not started on them and I care so little it is hard. But maybe if I just write out what I am feeling and such the motivation will come. I am listening to music( symphony number 77). I like to listen while I write because it often inspires me or motivates me to write more. I feel as though this conduit of creativity is opened to me. I like how they describe a river of insight in Tales from Watership down. The rabbits found it and just lay there receiving beyond their limited lives. Watership down is a book about rabbits if you want to know more you should read it. I do not know if the comparison does justice my afinity to music and the way it moves me but really how can I describe it? How can I put into words an experience ? I could attempt. It is just that when I listen to music and write or paint I feel like I am channeling some deeper expression that is beyond me. In some way what I write or paint becomes one with the music or the music becomes one with what I write or paint. Well so that is that. I am now going to attempt to focus and write. It is not easy I also have a strong desire to go and play on the piano. I love playing it and learning new things it just fills me with passion and exicitement. I have passion for a lot of things which is both good and bad. Bad becomes I think I could get carried away with something. When I was little I remember pretending I was dirrecting an orcestra I would get on the piano and try to imiatate the great artists. I do not know that I was ever successful but the exiciment I felt in listening to music was immense. I think though I really appreicate a variety of creative things, actually I appreciate most all talent. I think that the human mind has endless capacity and that if it was not hindered we could accomplish so much. I think that one though that hinders is the way the school system is set up. My teacher brought up a sad truth today. School is merely a way to give us a basic idea of what is out there the real learning must come on our own in our own study. Part of my began to think well great then school is a waste. So if you already know what you like and are passionate about why go to school? The deeper I delve into the less support I find for it being a useful institition I mean sure it is important for people to be literate I just think they could teach it differently. I will be the first to admit that I am not good at using the Enlgish language. It is dispicable how poorly I use grammar. I think part of the problem is that I do not care but in part I think it is something I will always struggle with. I would like to write books someday but I wonder how that is possible since I cannot even use grammar correctly. Well I am off to try and force myself to do unwanted assignemnts.